Wednesday, August 17, 2011

day dream believer

today i'm going to unapply (is that a word?) for a job in dc. and hoping it wont be a big mistake. i applied because the go-getter in me is ready for this promotion. but, what i didn't consider was the daydreamer in me.

i have always been an expert at day dreaming. i build time into my schedule in hopes that i will avoid being late because who knows when my brain will decide to take a lil trip. sometimes my mind will fill with so many ideas i feel like my head is going to explode. this year i promised i would try to make some of these dreams come true. i finally started working in earnest on my fashion line. (check me out @reconstructpd . pics will be up soon!) i'm working on  building arts programming with a non profit (@csbc ) even got myself a fancy title as the director of arts and community outreach. trying to give the people of baltimore a chance to reach for the stars. and hey look at me...blogging. my third goal for the year.

but, i also have a real life job. one that i'm very good at and enjoy. which is amazing. and it's natural for me to want to succeed. i just feel like the two hour commute will leave only time for dreaming and take away time from making the dreams a reality. i guess what i'm doing is taking a chance on myself.

and really.....who else should you take a chance on?

Friday, August 12, 2011

the man, the myth, the legend

Is John Legend the most romantic man alive? I think so. If he's not.... don't tell me for goodness sakes. This week two of his songs have been in my head.
Sadly, right now I sing this to my cats.

And then there's this:

Chrissy Teigan you are one lucky girl!

Does anyone even slow dance anymore ?

Thursday, August 4, 2011

fast no more

the time was 2:30. i just couldn't do it any longer. i would be having a normal conversation and suddenly blurt out "i'm hungry!". i think i was beginning to scare people. and myself.

i do feel proud of the days i was able to fast and think i can use this as a reboot of sorts for my life. i will continue the no smoking thing because wellllll it just makes sense. i will continue my early morning prayer/meditation because it kept me centered all day. i also will continue to fight my food addiction. now that i've proven to myself that food does not equal happiness!

this is all just part of my journey to be a better, healthier person. hmmmmm, maybe juice fast next?

i wish all of those who are participating in Ramadan lots of love and luck. i thank the ones i know personally who supported me and allowed me to share just a bit of their religion and culture.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011


today was rough. it started out this morning when i realized i slept through my "get up, eat and pray" alarm. the power was out on my block....i just had a general feeling of blah. i couldn't meditate because it was so hot so i just layed around until my afternoon shift.

i was looking forward to breaking my fast with the Muslim crew at work. but, i felt like an imposter so i went to eat by myself. i did try a date though, it was better than i thought.

hopefully i will be back on track tomorrow. all in all i am enjoying the clarity this experience is bringing even though i do feel a bit lonely without my vices.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

"you know you're not Muslim right?"

so glad to be home from work! today was a real challenge. i work at Whole foods Market, the land of the free sample. i cannot tell you how many times i reached for a chip that was just sitting there waiting to be eaten. but, i did it!  i did take strolls past the meat and seafood depts though.....just eating with my eyes

some of my friends don't understand why i'm doing this (and to be honest i lost the reason a couple times today). what they don't know is that for the last couple months i have felt this weight, this ball of stress that was just getting bigger and bigger. i was losing focus and control over my emotions. which for an Aquarius is totally unacceptable! my co-worker and i started talking and she explained the basics of Ramadan. A former Muslim, she had planned on participating and told me how focused and at peace you become during this month. i talked to some other people and they said the same thing. i also thought this month would help me turn away from my three vices .....alcohol, cigarettes and food.

day 2 of the christian does ramadan

yawn... one day completed! last night i broke my fast with popeye's chicken (hey that's what the roomie got for din). i really expected to pig out but my stomach was full very quickly. i just had a large breakfast (casserole) in hopes i will be okay at work today. tonight i gotta get some veggies in my system!

for my spiritual reading i'm focusing on the Book of Psalms. it's always been uplifting. i also want to be better at mind just wanders so much! today i really focused on deep cleansing breathes and that seemed to help.

time for more meditation and a quick nap before work. did i mention i work in a grocery store? Lord be with me!!!

Monday, August 1, 2011


so far i have spent the day writing, reading, praying and meditating. i just had a moment of weakness where i was like "forget this" but i will continue! sunset is at 8:14

i just read this awesome post by Food Republic: i will begin preparing my meal at 7:45.

It made me feel bad about my offhand statement about the bologna sandwich. i don't want to offend anyone or make light of this wonderful holiday. i have already received two unexpected blessings today. i feel that being more in tune with my higher power is the cause.